The Quill

Listening is the key ingredient in a recipe for success.
Every one of my clients would agree with me that listening skills are the most important factor that contributes to their success.  Conscious listening is essential for a rewarding personal and professional life.

Here are three good reasons why:
Listening shows that you care.  You may care about someone, you may say you care about someone, but they’ll never know it unless you listen to them.  We all need affirmation and acknowledgment.  People need to be heard.

No matter how successful you become, or how high you rise in your field, you must build
your success one person at a time. People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.

Listening allows you to make a personal connection with the person; what are their
dreams, needs and desires?

When you are listening to someone, imagine that the person is giving you a gift.  If you rush to give them back a gift right way, you have not experienced or appreciated their gift and they know it.  Take the gift, open it, touch it, linger over it, and take it in.  Pause.    When you respond, your words and feelings will have a much greater impact.

To live an extraordinary life, you must not only learn to listen well to others, but also
to listen to yourself. When we listen to ourselves we find out what we are passionate about.

Living a passionate life requires that you show up as who you really are, be present in
the moment and be fully engaged in what you are doing.

Have fun!

I love whodunits, especially Agatha Christie ones, but I find the greatest mystery is all around me. It moves as I breathe, it chases my shadow; it beckons with the wind and dances with the fire. I find its clues in spontaneity, compassion, humor and chocolate! It eludes me and haunts me: it rises with the waves and makes faces in the clouds. It is everything and it is nothing. I never tire of its whispers, or of its shapes. I wish for you a mysterious day filled with clues that tickle your mind and ignite your beautiful, adventurous spirit! Raven

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“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain

I love this quote. Anger, resentment and feelings of revenge take so much time and energy away from the person expressing them. Think about it. How many times have you been walking up the street and realised that you spent the last 20 minutes making a case against someone? So, you say to yourself, “Enough with this, I am getting tired.” Then you continue on your way thinking about something else. 30 minutes later, you are rehashing your points and making the same case again. Sound familiar? I have certainly done it many times.

However, one day I discovered that I didn’t want to put my attention on it anymore. In fact, I was getting bored with myself! It’s a waste of intention units and all we are really doing is giving up our power to the person we are angry at. That is a sobering thought. I would rather put my energy and intention into something positive and powerful!

Namaste, Raven

When I think of attachment in terms of not wanting to let go, I think of it as a recipe for disappointment. Say you meet someone and you are fascinated with this person. If you want them to behave in a certain way, which you believe ought to reflect what you see in this person, you are already doomed!

How is that? We project our desires onto others often before really getting to know them. When we expect someone to act as we wish and hope that they will change any annoying characteristics that we are not thrilled with, we are in trouble. First, the person will probably not change as we wish. Or he/she will change to please us and then at some point, get real and resent giving up power. Second; and this is even more important in my view: when we look for the qualities we insist on having in someone, we miss out on who this person really is!! All the beauty and uniqueness of this soul is waived away, or worse never seen because we are blinded by expectations.

It’s a trap so many of us fall into. It takes trust, courage, patience and unconditional love to allow ourselves and others to be authentic. There is so much inside each of us waiting to be explored and appreciated. If your partner is not the right person for you, let go. Otherwise this person is blocking traffic and unhappy because he/she knows something is not right. If you know deep inside of you that this person is meant to be with you, let go of your expectations. Give yourself the gift of discovering the unique beauty before you.

 Letting go and trusting allows you to be in the right place at the right time, living your life and being in the moment. Then the right partners, friends, colleagues and ideas will find you. That is indeed a gift! If you act in a way that is right for you, then everything else will fall into place. Transition may take time and may take you out of your comfort zone. You may not feel safe. However, when you take the first step through the door of acceptance, your life will become much more effortless. Much love to all, Raven

I feel compelled to write about courage today. I recently wrote about courage on Facebook, but people are telling me that they want to hear more. I know many people who are discouraged at this time. Whether it is their health, money, relationship, direction, spiritual path or something else, they are overwhelmed and even in despair. These are people who live in America and have freedom. It makes one wonder how the people in war torn countries who are fighting for personal freedom and liberty are feeling.

Thing important point here is that they are part of us. It’s not about us and them, there is only us. So on a collective level, their burdens are our burdens and vice versa. You might say that you have enough problems without worrying about the people in Libya or in Tibet. True, we have to work on ourselves first and then we are better equipped to help others. However, we have one big thing in common: CHANGE. Change is not going away. I try not to think of change as good or bad, but rather as an opportunity to upgrade some level of my life. Change can bring about a tremendous transformation and a leap forward.

So how do you translate losing your house, working for the boss from hell, less time for your most important relationship and so on, into transformation and moving forward? First, you have to accept that where you are, is where you are supposed to be at this moment. Acceptance brings peace of mind and peace of mind opens up the gates of flow in your life. Where there is flow, there is movement. Is it difficult? Probably. Staying in your comfort zone is just that: staying–non movement. The sooner you accept things as they are, the sooner you can recognize what needs to change and get working on it.

As we head toward the “big year”: 2012, we must embrace ourselves and others fully, forgive ourselves and others, be in the flow of information, compassion, creativity and empathy. Our world is going through changes of vast proportions and if we want to ride the waves of change and arrive at a new horizon collectively at peace, eager to see what humanity is really capable of, then the time is now to look at our lives from a creative perspective and ask courage to be our friend. Time has a way of shrinking or expanding depending on how you view the present moment. The present moment has all the power of the universe in it; all there for us to tap into. Change your posture, shift your perspective. What are you being shown? Follow the thread. I think the rewards will be well worth the effort.

I often experience things that I don’t understand and perhaps at a later date the reason becomes clear to me. Of course there are times when I never figure out “the why.” This calls for faith in my process, my journey and trust in my self. This week I have been stalled with a nasty flu type bug, when I am very busy and have a lot on my plate. 

In considering my “plight,” I began to reflect on the Chinese saying from the I Ching, “When the fish are scarce, the fishermen repair their nets.” These reflections have reminded me to eat very simply, meditate more and go through a purification ritual. As I lay in bed thinking and meditating, my creative impulses have been boosted with new designs, ideas and powerful insights.  So, the sickness is a vehicle to a new place; an upgrade in terms of sensitivity and well being which will lead to enrichment. I am grateful for all the blessings in my life!

Wow! Where to start. My word for today is beauty. There is so much beauty around us. I am fortunate at this time to be looking out my window and enjoying the sunlight playing with the pine needles on a big tree. My dog is staring indignantly at a squirrel who has shot up the tree and is flicking it’s tail at her. I am always sure she will get a kink in her neck when this happens, but she never does. How do people get bored? Each breath is precious to me, each thought a moment of power capable of impacting the rest of my life. I just have to remember to audit my thoughts. I look forward to this new blogging journey and I appreciate suggestions from you. Warm regards, Raven